| SORCEROUS SIGNALS |
| Written by Mark Fewell / Artwork by Holly Eddy |
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| Bernice and the Talking Tree |
Bernice hadn't planned on turning Prince Tomas into a tree; she had been working on a spell to make the handsome and
wealthy man fall in love with her. She must have waggled her fingers when she should wiggled them.
If she had been lucky enough to turn Prince Tomas into a frog or some other kind of animal, all she would have had to do
was find a princess to kiss him. She was pretty sure that way of breaking a spell didn't work on plants. Better to find out
what Davida had to say about the whole matter before she tried anything else.
She made her way through the market crowd, past merchants hawking their wares and people rushing for the latest
bargains. Nobody waited outside the entrance of Davida's tent; Bernice pulled the flap aside and walked on it.
Davida sat cross-legged in the center of a circle of candles. She didn't look up to see who had entered. "Got yourself in a
spot of trouble, haven't you?"
Bernice sat down on the floor across from Davida without breaking the circle. "Do you think you can help me?"
"What exactly did you do?"
"I turned Prince Tomas into an oak tree."
"Is that bad thing? It might do the prince some good to be a tree for awhile."
"It won't do me any good. He's on the road between Meltonia and Kesvin, telling everybody who passes him that I did it."
"You turned him into a talking tree?"
"Well...yes."
"Incredible! I didn't think that was possible."
"Can you do anything about it?"
"You can always wait. Sometimes these spells do wear off."
"I've already spent enough time waiting. Isn't there anything else I can do?"
"Have you had a princess kiss him yet?"
"I thought about that," Bernice said, "but doesn't that only work on enchanted animals like frogs and donkeys?"
"Maybe, but nobody's ever turned a prince into a talking tree before until now. Sometimes it's best to try the old way first
before trying something new."
"Where am I going to get a princess?" Bernice asked.
"That's your problem," Davida said. "If a kiss from a princess doesn't work, you come back to me and we'll go through
my books until we find something that does work."
"Do it now."
"Try the old way first."
Bernice had no idea how to find a princess. Even if she did, she didn't think a princess would leave her palace with a
commoner like Bernice. Bernice's first thought had been to use magic and turn herself into a princess, but after her last
spell, she didn't want to take a chance of turning herself into a talking oak tree.
There was only one person who could tell her how to find a princess, and she wasn't sure he would talk to her.
***
Over a mile away, Bernice saw the smoke coming from the camp of the prince's men-at-arms. She approached on
horseback and saw that the prince's men were guarding the road, protecting the tree that had been their leader.
Two of the men approached her. One of them looked as if he had been a veteran of several wars; he had a long gray beard
and wore battered armor. The other soldier's armor reflected sunlight into Bernice's eyes.
The war veteran held up a gauntlet. "Halt." Bernice halted. "What is your business on this road?"
"I must see Prince Tomas."
"The prince is back the way you came, back at his castle in Meltonia."
At least, one good thing had happened for Bernice. The prince was no longer telling everyone what a rotten person she
was. His men must have advised him it would be best if his enemies didn't know he had been turned into a tree.
"I know he's here; he's a talking oak tree."
"How do you know that? Are you one of his enemies?"
Bernice could have told the man she was one of the travelers that had been told by the tree what had happened. She
decided against that plan, thinking the men-at-arms might take her into custody so she couldn't tell the prince's enemies
what had happened to him, and there was no way to guarantee she would have a chance to talk to the prince.
She found herself left with only one option. The only way she could get to the prince was if she told these two men who
she was. The worst thing that could happen was they would kill her, and the prince would remain a tree forever. She
didn't think the prince's men would allow that to happen. "I'm Bernice."
"Bernice? So you're the evil witch who has imperiled the prince. I see you've come back to finish your work of destroying
his royal highness."
"I've come back to help him."
"If you're really a loyal subject and friend of the prince, why did you turn him into a tree?"
Bernice wanted to shout, I was trying to make him fall in love with me, but that surely would have gotten her locked away
for all eternity. "I made a mistake, and I'd like to fix it."
"I say kill her before she can do more harm to the prince," the other soldier said.
"Do you know of anyone else who might be able to change him back?"
"You might be the only one who can," the older man-at-arms said. "I will escort you to the prince, but if you try to do him
harm, no magic will protect you from my sword."
Bernice followed the man to the oak tree that had at one time been the prince of the land. "I see you've come back to finish
me off. And you, Oscar, my most loyal servant, you've brought her to me. How could you do that?"
"I brought her here because she has offered to end your imprisonment as a tree," Oscar said.
"Then get to it," the prince said. "Do whatever it is you need to do to change me back."
"I need you to tell me how to find a princess."
"I see, having turned a prince into a tree, you want to try your magic on a princess."
"It's not like that at all," Bernice said. "I need the princess to kiss you, to break the spell."
"Then we don't need you anymore. My men can bring me a princess. Slay her, Oscar."
Oscar unsheathed his sword and raised it over his head. "I'm sorry, milady."
"No, wait, there's no guarantee a kiss will work. If it doesn't, you'll need me to try something else."
Oscar didn't lower his sword; he waited for the prince's command.
"And why can't I find another sorceress to undo your work?"
"Because it's takes the person who cast a spell to reverse it. That's why." Bernice prayed neither the prince nor his men
knew enough magic to see through her bluff.
For the longest time, the tree didn't talk, and Bernice knew she was going to die. Why had she wanted Prince Tomas to
love her anyway?
"Oscar," the prince said, "go with this women. Take her to the Kingdom of Larque and bring me Princess Jenny."
"Are you sure that's a good idea, your highness? I remember what Princess Jenny said to you, even if you don't."
"I remember everything the young lady and I discussed. Are you trying to tell me I'm not good enough for the Princess or
that the Princess Jenny isn't good enough for me?"
"Neither, your highness."
"Then you will do as I have ordered you."
"Yes, your highness."
It was a four-day journey to the neighboring Kingdom of Larque. Along the way, Bernice asked, "What did Princess Jenny
say to the prince?"
"I don't think the prince wants you to know about his private life."
"I understand," Bernice said.
"She called him a pompous ass who could improve the world by boiling in his own blood."
"It doesn't sound as if she likes Prince Tomas."
"None of the princesses who have met Prince Tomas like him."
"Maybe we should go find one who doesn't know him."
"His Highness wants Princess Jenny so he shall get Princess Jenny."
"Are you sure about this?"
"I've never been more sure, milady."
***
Unlike Pople, the Kingdom of Larque was a poor kingdom. The castle looked like the home of the lowest baron in
Meltonia; it didn't look like the palace of a king and a queen. They crossed the drawbridge and stopped at the portcullis,
waiting for somebody to open it. "Who goes there?" a guard called from on top of the wall.
"We are emissaries from Prince Tomas of Pople. We seek an audience with Princess Jenny."
"Wait here," the guard said.
Oscar and Bernice did as the guard ordered. When the guard returned, he informed them that if they were friends of
Prince Tomas, it would be best if they left before the princess ordered them thrown into the dungeon.
"We really must see her," Oscar said.
"It's a matter of life and death," Bernice said. She didn't mention it was her life and death she was talking about.
"It may be your death if you stay," the guard said. "I don't wish to see you withering away in the dungeon, milady."
Bernice crossed her arms. "We're not going anywhere until we see the princess."
"I hope your magic will allow us to escape the dungeon," Oscar whispered.
"They're not going to put us in the dungeon. Princess Jenny be will so curious about who it is that's defying her, they'll
take us to her right away."
The portcullis rose and four horsemen rode out to greet them. "See, they're coming to escort us to the princess."
Oscar and Bernice were taken to the dungeon where they were thrown into the same cell. The only other sounds they
heard when they weren't speaking to each other was the scurrying of rats in the darkness and the drip-drip-dripping of
water in a cell far away.
"I don't think we'll be getting to see her royal highness anytime soon," Oscar said.
"The princess will come see us," Bernice said.
"How can you be so sure?"
"She'll be curious. Women know these things." Bernice didn't let on that she had no idea what she knew.
Oscar's only reply was a scowl Bernice could barely make out in the deep, dark, dampness of the cell.
Bernice had been sure Princess Jenny's curiosity would bring her to the dungeon, or she and Oscar would be shown the
throne room.
After four days of seeing no one but the guard who brought them some slop to eat, Bernice knew she didn't know
anything. The slop had pieces of meat swimming in it that smelled as if they had been cooked by lying in the road for
several days. Bernice was sure the food had to taste as bad as it smelled, though she didn't have a chance to find out; she
gave Oscar her portions. "I have been a soldier since I was younger than you, milady, and a soldier knows to eat
whenever he has a chance," he explained.
***
The only way of leaving the dungeon and finding a princess to kiss Prince Tomas was to use magic. Bernice hoped she
wouldn't make a mistake and turn Oscar into a tree that couldn't talk. She'd get awfully lonely if she had to stay in the
dungeon with no one to chat with.
Just as she began her incantation, the doors of the cell opened. Bernice looked up and recognized the men as two of the
guards who had led them to their cell. "The princess will see you now," one of the men said.
When Bernice stood, one of the joints in her right knee popped. She limped out of the cell and moved up the stone stairs
with Oscar behind her and the guards in front of her. At the top of the stairs, she squinted in the light, shielding her eyes
with her left hand.
The guards led her and Oscar to the throne. On the smallest of three thrones, the other two were surely for the queen and
king, sat a small blond woman. When she smiled, Bernice saw that any man, prince or commoner, would have loved to
have made her his bride. "What does your master want with me now? Haven't I already refused to marry him?"
Though the question was directed to Oscar, Bernice answered it. "He's been turned into a tree and we need a princess to
kiss him."
"Prince Tomas having been turned into a tree sounds like good news for everyone except his fellow trees."
"We really do need you to kiss Prince Tomas," Oscar said.
"I'm not falling for that. I know what happens if I break the enchantment, I have to become his wife and then we're
supposed to live happily ever after. It's not going to happen."
"We're not even sure if kissing him will work," Bernice mumbled.
"Why is helping the prince so important?"
"I'm the one who turned him into a tree."
Princess Jenny laughed. "I mustn't send you back to the dungeon since you've surely made the world a better place."
"If I don't turn him back, he'll have me slain."
"Surely, you wouldn't hurt a hair on this woman's head, Oscar."
Oscar bowed before the princess. "I will do whatever the prince commands me to do."
Princess Jenny looked at Bernice. "You need to find yourself another princess. There's no way I'll marry a man who kicks
puppies and tells crude jokes at the dinner table with his mouth full of food and his elbows on the table!" The princess
talked for an hour about all the faults of Prince Tomas; she didn't have a good word to say about him. When she finished,
she shouted for her men. "These two are to be shown the way out of the castle; they are not to be harmed."
After they had put a few miles between them and the castle, Bernice said, "I guess we find some other princess."
"We can't be sure the prince will allow another princess to kiss him."
"He's a tree. He can't run away. How is he going to stop it?"
"I'll stop it if he commands me to."
"Sometimes I think you're a bit too loyal, Oscar," Bernice said. "What do you think we should do?"
"I say we kidnap Princess Jenny and drag her back to Prince Tomas."
"Sounds like a longer stay in the dungeon to me."
"Do you have a better idea?"
"We go after a princess who doesn't know Prince Tomas, and convince her to kiss the tree. If he doesn't allow it, we'll
come back to Princess Jenny. So what princesses are there who don't know the prince?"
"I will have to think about it," Oscar said.
***
They had almost made it all the way back to Prince Tomas before Oscar finally thought of a princess who might kiss the
prince, not having met him. "But it's many days away, and I can't guarantee she will come with us. It is possible she too
has heard bad things of the prince."
"We'll worry about that when we get there," Bernice said. "Where is it?"
"In the land of darkest Mead."
"Not Princess Camella?"
"Yes, her. The one destined to become the queen of all things dark and evil."
"Her and Prince Tomas sound like the perfect match."
Bernice and Oscar turned their horses towards Mead.
***
They knew when they were approaching the evil land. The trees lost their leaves despite it being the height of summer, and
storm clouds blackened the sky, though it never rained.
Camella did not live in palace or castle, but a huge hollow black tree in the middle of a swamp. Her servants weren't
armored men, but bog-creatures from the muck and mud of the swamp itself.
As Bernice and Oscar approached the huge tree, the bog-creatures rose from the water and surrounded them. With a
soldier's reflexes, Oscar had his sword ready to defend him and Bernice.
"Don't hurt them," Bernice shouted, "unless they attack. Princess Camella may not wish to help us if we harm her
servants."
Oscar didn't have to use his sword against the bog-creatures; they didn't attack. They turned and skulked towards the
huge black tree. Oscar and Bernice got off their horses and followed them into the tree. Once inside, the bog-creatures
melted into the ground, and Bernice and Oscar found themselves viewing Princess Camella. She had long flowing dark hair
that ended at the bottom of her throne; a throne that grew out of the very wood of the tree itself.
"Why have you intruded upon my domain?" said Princess Camella.
Bernice took a step towards the throne. "We need a princess to kiss a prince who's been turned into a talking oak tree."
"And what prince is this?" Camella asked.
"Prince Tomas of the Kingdom of Pople."
"I see. I kiss Prince Tomas, break the spell, he marries me, and an alliance between Pople and Mead is formed. I like that.
I will go with you."
"I don't like the idea of her being married to my master," Oscar whispered.
"We won't let them marry after the spell is broken. Besides we don't even know if her kiss will break the spell," Bernice
said.
Princess Camella rode with Oscar as they were led out of the swamp and the land of Mead by the bog-creatures who
disappeared at Mead's border.
***
"That witch is not to kiss me!" Prince Tomas shouted. A robin had made a nest on a lower branch. "She is not Princess
Jenny! She is one of the vilest, evilest beings in all of creation."
Like you have room to talk, Bernice thought.
Two of the prince's men held Camella by her arms. "Let me go."
"Princess Jenny would not come with us," Oscar said. "This was the only princess we could find who was willing to kiss
you."
"I don't want her near me!"
Camella broke free of the men who held her arms and made a mad dash for the tree; nobody could stop her. She threw
her arms around the trunk of the tree and gave it a big smooch.
Everybody stopped whatever they were doing and stared at the tree.
Nothing happened.
"Kill her for touching me, and kill the witch Bernice," the prince ordered.
"Please no bloodshed," Bernice said. "There is still one more thing that might work."
"And what may that be?" the prince asked.
"I can try to do the spell that turned you into a tree in reverse. I just have to remember if I need to wiggle or waggle my
fingers."
"This will turn me back into a man?"
"It may not do anything, but you have to let me try. Do you wish to stay a tree forever?"
"Go ahead and work your magic," Prince Tomas said.
Bernice raised her hands and started her incantation, waggling her fingers. A light glowed around the tree. The tree
disappeared, and the robin's nest fell to the ground, but there was no prince. Bernice should have wiggled her fingers, or
maybe she should have woggled them.
"I've got him now." Camella bent down, picked up a small green snake, and gave it a kiss.
The snake started growing, forming into a tall, handsome man, wearing fine cloths, his hand on a sword. "This woman is
not to touch me. Get her out of my presence."
"I rescued you," Camella said. "You have to marry me."
"I shall do nothing of the sort."
"Believe me. You don't want to marry this jerk," Bernice said.
Prince Tomas looked over at Bernice. "Somebody kill her."
Bernice raised her hands into the air. "Time for me to turn all of your men into snakes."
None of the prince's men would come near her. They started for Camella instead. "She's with me," Bernice said.
"You're bluffing," Prince Tomas said.
"How can you say that when you've already been a tree and a snake?"
Prince Tomas took a step towards Bernice, getting right into her face. "You win this time, witch." He turned away from
her and addressed his men. "Let the women go."
"Thank you," Bernice said as she climbed back onto her horse, giving Camella a hand to climb behind. The two women
journeyed down the road. Neither one turned and looked back at the prince and his men.
wealthy man fall in love with her. She must have waggled her fingers when she should wiggled them.
If she had been lucky enough to turn Prince Tomas into a frog or some other kind of animal, all she would have had to do
was find a princess to kiss him. She was pretty sure that way of breaking a spell didn't work on plants. Better to find out
what Davida had to say about the whole matter before she tried anything else.
She made her way through the market crowd, past merchants hawking their wares and people rushing for the latest
bargains. Nobody waited outside the entrance of Davida's tent; Bernice pulled the flap aside and walked on it.
Davida sat cross-legged in the center of a circle of candles. She didn't look up to see who had entered. "Got yourself in a
spot of trouble, haven't you?"
Bernice sat down on the floor across from Davida without breaking the circle. "Do you think you can help me?"
"What exactly did you do?"
"I turned Prince Tomas into an oak tree."
"Is that bad thing? It might do the prince some good to be a tree for awhile."
"It won't do me any good. He's on the road between Meltonia and Kesvin, telling everybody who passes him that I did it."
"You turned him into a talking tree?"
"Well...yes."
"Incredible! I didn't think that was possible."
"Can you do anything about it?"
"You can always wait. Sometimes these spells do wear off."
"I've already spent enough time waiting. Isn't there anything else I can do?"
"Have you had a princess kiss him yet?"
"I thought about that," Bernice said, "but doesn't that only work on enchanted animals like frogs and donkeys?"
"Maybe, but nobody's ever turned a prince into a talking tree before until now. Sometimes it's best to try the old way first
before trying something new."
"Where am I going to get a princess?" Bernice asked.
"That's your problem," Davida said. "If a kiss from a princess doesn't work, you come back to me and we'll go through
my books until we find something that does work."
"Do it now."
"Try the old way first."
Bernice had no idea how to find a princess. Even if she did, she didn't think a princess would leave her palace with a
commoner like Bernice. Bernice's first thought had been to use magic and turn herself into a princess, but after her last
spell, she didn't want to take a chance of turning herself into a talking oak tree.
There was only one person who could tell her how to find a princess, and she wasn't sure he would talk to her.
***
Over a mile away, Bernice saw the smoke coming from the camp of the prince's men-at-arms. She approached on
horseback and saw that the prince's men were guarding the road, protecting the tree that had been their leader.
Two of the men approached her. One of them looked as if he had been a veteran of several wars; he had a long gray beard
and wore battered armor. The other soldier's armor reflected sunlight into Bernice's eyes.
The war veteran held up a gauntlet. "Halt." Bernice halted. "What is your business on this road?"
"I must see Prince Tomas."
"The prince is back the way you came, back at his castle in Meltonia."
At least, one good thing had happened for Bernice. The prince was no longer telling everyone what a rotten person she
was. His men must have advised him it would be best if his enemies didn't know he had been turned into a tree.
"I know he's here; he's a talking oak tree."
"How do you know that? Are you one of his enemies?"
Bernice could have told the man she was one of the travelers that had been told by the tree what had happened. She
decided against that plan, thinking the men-at-arms might take her into custody so she couldn't tell the prince's enemies
what had happened to him, and there was no way to guarantee she would have a chance to talk to the prince.
She found herself left with only one option. The only way she could get to the prince was if she told these two men who
she was. The worst thing that could happen was they would kill her, and the prince would remain a tree forever. She
didn't think the prince's men would allow that to happen. "I'm Bernice."
"Bernice? So you're the evil witch who has imperiled the prince. I see you've come back to finish your work of destroying
his royal highness."
"I've come back to help him."
"If you're really a loyal subject and friend of the prince, why did you turn him into a tree?"
Bernice wanted to shout, I was trying to make him fall in love with me, but that surely would have gotten her locked away
for all eternity. "I made a mistake, and I'd like to fix it."
"I say kill her before she can do more harm to the prince," the other soldier said.
"Do you know of anyone else who might be able to change him back?"
"You might be the only one who can," the older man-at-arms said. "I will escort you to the prince, but if you try to do him
harm, no magic will protect you from my sword."
Bernice followed the man to the oak tree that had at one time been the prince of the land. "I see you've come back to finish
me off. And you, Oscar, my most loyal servant, you've brought her to me. How could you do that?"
"I brought her here because she has offered to end your imprisonment as a tree," Oscar said.
"Then get to it," the prince said. "Do whatever it is you need to do to change me back."
"I need you to tell me how to find a princess."
"I see, having turned a prince into a tree, you want to try your magic on a princess."
"It's not like that at all," Bernice said. "I need the princess to kiss you, to break the spell."
"Then we don't need you anymore. My men can bring me a princess. Slay her, Oscar."
Oscar unsheathed his sword and raised it over his head. "I'm sorry, milady."
"No, wait, there's no guarantee a kiss will work. If it doesn't, you'll need me to try something else."
Oscar didn't lower his sword; he waited for the prince's command.
"And why can't I find another sorceress to undo your work?"
"Because it's takes the person who cast a spell to reverse it. That's why." Bernice prayed neither the prince nor his men
knew enough magic to see through her bluff.
For the longest time, the tree didn't talk, and Bernice knew she was going to die. Why had she wanted Prince Tomas to
love her anyway?
"Oscar," the prince said, "go with this women. Take her to the Kingdom of Larque and bring me Princess Jenny."
"Are you sure that's a good idea, your highness? I remember what Princess Jenny said to you, even if you don't."
"I remember everything the young lady and I discussed. Are you trying to tell me I'm not good enough for the Princess or
that the Princess Jenny isn't good enough for me?"
"Neither, your highness."
"Then you will do as I have ordered you."
"Yes, your highness."
It was a four-day journey to the neighboring Kingdom of Larque. Along the way, Bernice asked, "What did Princess Jenny
say to the prince?"
"I don't think the prince wants you to know about his private life."
"I understand," Bernice said.
"She called him a pompous ass who could improve the world by boiling in his own blood."
"It doesn't sound as if she likes Prince Tomas."
"None of the princesses who have met Prince Tomas like him."
"Maybe we should go find one who doesn't know him."
"His Highness wants Princess Jenny so he shall get Princess Jenny."
"Are you sure about this?"
"I've never been more sure, milady."
***
Unlike Pople, the Kingdom of Larque was a poor kingdom. The castle looked like the home of the lowest baron in
Meltonia; it didn't look like the palace of a king and a queen. They crossed the drawbridge and stopped at the portcullis,
waiting for somebody to open it. "Who goes there?" a guard called from on top of the wall.
"We are emissaries from Prince Tomas of Pople. We seek an audience with Princess Jenny."
"Wait here," the guard said.
Oscar and Bernice did as the guard ordered. When the guard returned, he informed them that if they were friends of
Prince Tomas, it would be best if they left before the princess ordered them thrown into the dungeon.
"We really must see her," Oscar said.
"It's a matter of life and death," Bernice said. She didn't mention it was her life and death she was talking about.
"It may be your death if you stay," the guard said. "I don't wish to see you withering away in the dungeon, milady."
Bernice crossed her arms. "We're not going anywhere until we see the princess."
"I hope your magic will allow us to escape the dungeon," Oscar whispered.
"They're not going to put us in the dungeon. Princess Jenny be will so curious about who it is that's defying her, they'll
take us to her right away."
The portcullis rose and four horsemen rode out to greet them. "See, they're coming to escort us to the princess."
Oscar and Bernice were taken to the dungeon where they were thrown into the same cell. The only other sounds they
heard when they weren't speaking to each other was the scurrying of rats in the darkness and the drip-drip-dripping of
water in a cell far away.
"I don't think we'll be getting to see her royal highness anytime soon," Oscar said.
"The princess will come see us," Bernice said.
"How can you be so sure?"
"She'll be curious. Women know these things." Bernice didn't let on that she had no idea what she knew.
Oscar's only reply was a scowl Bernice could barely make out in the deep, dark, dampness of the cell.
Bernice had been sure Princess Jenny's curiosity would bring her to the dungeon, or she and Oscar would be shown the
throne room.
After four days of seeing no one but the guard who brought them some slop to eat, Bernice knew she didn't know
anything. The slop had pieces of meat swimming in it that smelled as if they had been cooked by lying in the road for
several days. Bernice was sure the food had to taste as bad as it smelled, though she didn't have a chance to find out; she
gave Oscar her portions. "I have been a soldier since I was younger than you, milady, and a soldier knows to eat
whenever he has a chance," he explained.
***
The only way of leaving the dungeon and finding a princess to kiss Prince Tomas was to use magic. Bernice hoped she
wouldn't make a mistake and turn Oscar into a tree that couldn't talk. She'd get awfully lonely if she had to stay in the
dungeon with no one to chat with.
Just as she began her incantation, the doors of the cell opened. Bernice looked up and recognized the men as two of the
guards who had led them to their cell. "The princess will see you now," one of the men said.
When Bernice stood, one of the joints in her right knee popped. She limped out of the cell and moved up the stone stairs
with Oscar behind her and the guards in front of her. At the top of the stairs, she squinted in the light, shielding her eyes
with her left hand.
The guards led her and Oscar to the throne. On the smallest of three thrones, the other two were surely for the queen and
king, sat a small blond woman. When she smiled, Bernice saw that any man, prince or commoner, would have loved to
have made her his bride. "What does your master want with me now? Haven't I already refused to marry him?"
Though the question was directed to Oscar, Bernice answered it. "He's been turned into a tree and we need a princess to
kiss him."
"Prince Tomas having been turned into a tree sounds like good news for everyone except his fellow trees."
"We really do need you to kiss Prince Tomas," Oscar said.
"I'm not falling for that. I know what happens if I break the enchantment, I have to become his wife and then we're
supposed to live happily ever after. It's not going to happen."
"We're not even sure if kissing him will work," Bernice mumbled.
"Why is helping the prince so important?"
"I'm the one who turned him into a tree."
Princess Jenny laughed. "I mustn't send you back to the dungeon since you've surely made the world a better place."
"If I don't turn him back, he'll have me slain."
"Surely, you wouldn't hurt a hair on this woman's head, Oscar."
Oscar bowed before the princess. "I will do whatever the prince commands me to do."
Princess Jenny looked at Bernice. "You need to find yourself another princess. There's no way I'll marry a man who kicks
puppies and tells crude jokes at the dinner table with his mouth full of food and his elbows on the table!" The princess
talked for an hour about all the faults of Prince Tomas; she didn't have a good word to say about him. When she finished,
she shouted for her men. "These two are to be shown the way out of the castle; they are not to be harmed."
After they had put a few miles between them and the castle, Bernice said, "I guess we find some other princess."
"We can't be sure the prince will allow another princess to kiss him."
"He's a tree. He can't run away. How is he going to stop it?"
"I'll stop it if he commands me to."
"Sometimes I think you're a bit too loyal, Oscar," Bernice said. "What do you think we should do?"
"I say we kidnap Princess Jenny and drag her back to Prince Tomas."
"Sounds like a longer stay in the dungeon to me."
"Do you have a better idea?"
"We go after a princess who doesn't know Prince Tomas, and convince her to kiss the tree. If he doesn't allow it, we'll
come back to Princess Jenny. So what princesses are there who don't know the prince?"
"I will have to think about it," Oscar said.
***
They had almost made it all the way back to Prince Tomas before Oscar finally thought of a princess who might kiss the
prince, not having met him. "But it's many days away, and I can't guarantee she will come with us. It is possible she too
has heard bad things of the prince."
"We'll worry about that when we get there," Bernice said. "Where is it?"
"In the land of darkest Mead."
"Not Princess Camella?"
"Yes, her. The one destined to become the queen of all things dark and evil."
"Her and Prince Tomas sound like the perfect match."
Bernice and Oscar turned their horses towards Mead.
***
They knew when they were approaching the evil land. The trees lost their leaves despite it being the height of summer, and
storm clouds blackened the sky, though it never rained.
Camella did not live in palace or castle, but a huge hollow black tree in the middle of a swamp. Her servants weren't
armored men, but bog-creatures from the muck and mud of the swamp itself.
As Bernice and Oscar approached the huge tree, the bog-creatures rose from the water and surrounded them. With a
soldier's reflexes, Oscar had his sword ready to defend him and Bernice.
"Don't hurt them," Bernice shouted, "unless they attack. Princess Camella may not wish to help us if we harm her
servants."
Oscar didn't have to use his sword against the bog-creatures; they didn't attack. They turned and skulked towards the
huge black tree. Oscar and Bernice got off their horses and followed them into the tree. Once inside, the bog-creatures
melted into the ground, and Bernice and Oscar found themselves viewing Princess Camella. She had long flowing dark hair
that ended at the bottom of her throne; a throne that grew out of the very wood of the tree itself.
"Why have you intruded upon my domain?" said Princess Camella.
Bernice took a step towards the throne. "We need a princess to kiss a prince who's been turned into a talking oak tree."
"And what prince is this?" Camella asked.
"Prince Tomas of the Kingdom of Pople."
"I see. I kiss Prince Tomas, break the spell, he marries me, and an alliance between Pople and Mead is formed. I like that.
I will go with you."
"I don't like the idea of her being married to my master," Oscar whispered.
"We won't let them marry after the spell is broken. Besides we don't even know if her kiss will break the spell," Bernice
said.
Princess Camella rode with Oscar as they were led out of the swamp and the land of Mead by the bog-creatures who
disappeared at Mead's border.
***
"That witch is not to kiss me!" Prince Tomas shouted. A robin had made a nest on a lower branch. "She is not Princess
Jenny! She is one of the vilest, evilest beings in all of creation."
Like you have room to talk, Bernice thought.
Two of the prince's men held Camella by her arms. "Let me go."
"Princess Jenny would not come with us," Oscar said. "This was the only princess we could find who was willing to kiss
you."
"I don't want her near me!"
Camella broke free of the men who held her arms and made a mad dash for the tree; nobody could stop her. She threw
her arms around the trunk of the tree and gave it a big smooch.
Everybody stopped whatever they were doing and stared at the tree.
Nothing happened.
"Kill her for touching me, and kill the witch Bernice," the prince ordered.
"Please no bloodshed," Bernice said. "There is still one more thing that might work."
"And what may that be?" the prince asked.
"I can try to do the spell that turned you into a tree in reverse. I just have to remember if I need to wiggle or waggle my
fingers."
"This will turn me back into a man?"
"It may not do anything, but you have to let me try. Do you wish to stay a tree forever?"
"Go ahead and work your magic," Prince Tomas said.
Bernice raised her hands and started her incantation, waggling her fingers. A light glowed around the tree. The tree
disappeared, and the robin's nest fell to the ground, but there was no prince. Bernice should have wiggled her fingers, or
maybe she should have woggled them.
"I've got him now." Camella bent down, picked up a small green snake, and gave it a kiss.
The snake started growing, forming into a tall, handsome man, wearing fine cloths, his hand on a sword. "This woman is
not to touch me. Get her out of my presence."
"I rescued you," Camella said. "You have to marry me."
"I shall do nothing of the sort."
"Believe me. You don't want to marry this jerk," Bernice said.
Prince Tomas looked over at Bernice. "Somebody kill her."
Bernice raised her hands into the air. "Time for me to turn all of your men into snakes."
None of the prince's men would come near her. They started for Camella instead. "She's with me," Bernice said.
"You're bluffing," Prince Tomas said.
"How can you say that when you've already been a tree and a snake?"
Prince Tomas took a step towards Bernice, getting right into her face. "You win this time, witch." He turned away from
her and addressed his men. "Let the women go."
"Thank you," Bernice said as she climbed back onto her horse, giving Camella a hand to climb behind. The two women
journeyed down the road. Neither one turned and looked back at the prince and his men.
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